Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of
The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars…
Finally, Minute 99:00 gives us Empire's first conventional shootout. But how conventional is it? Well, for a major blockbuster it lasts all of one minute and three seconds. After that, we see a father and son hit at each other with light sticks for another 20 minutes, so.... it's not that conventional. And the coolest hired gun in the universe? Fett fires all of two shots before disappearing down an art deco hallway. And one of Luke's reaction shots - the one on the bottom right - could be either a laser heading straight for Skywalker's face or a blast of energized snot rocketing one back to the bounty hunter. It's hard to tell for sure from just a screenshot.
Speaking of reaction shots, this scene is packed with them. There's hardly any wide angles in the bunch, except for when Leia appeals to Luke at the end of this minute. There's a lot of closeups and tight angles around sharp corners to give the scene a more claustrophobic feel. It expresses our heroes' narrow chances of escaping and intensifies the action. It also sells the expansiveness of the set which, truth be told, was only a few hallways. Lucasfilm spent its' budget on so many other extravagant effects, there wasn't much left to make Cloud City feel like a city. Instead, they relied on camera tricks and rearranged hallways to make everything a little bit more grand.
Of all the reactions, no one gets more than Lando. Don't you wish your significant other would look at you the way Billy Dee looks down a long hallway?
But he's not thinking about you, you sick audience member! He's thinking about using his Apple Watch to wake up his robot-version of Herman from Guess Who.
Whether Lando's betraying his friends or harassing visitors, he's always got something else up his sleeves and that something is his robotimized wing-man, Lobot. Oh, what is it, Lobot? I'm sorry, you were offended by the board game reference? Get over it, this is just a blog.
Ok, now you're creeping me out.
Don't look at me like that.
It makes me feel uncomfortable...
Oh, you want to play another game? For a second, I thought you were going to peel off my skin and wear me like a suit, but now I see that unlike these blaster rifles, you are set to FUN. You want to play a new game? How about Screw, Chuck or Marry? You have to choose between a ship, a cup, and a speeder. Here's an example:
Wait, we can't play anymore because the minute's over. In honor of nearly reaching the 100th minute of this blog-posting extravaganza, Leia's going to do her best Admiral Ackbar impression...
Best Performance by a Human: Leia - this is Carrie Fisher making a last ditch effort for that Hugo Award nom.
Best Performance by a Non-human: Laser explosions.
Best Line: Leia's "Luke, don't! It's a trap! ERRRHHHAAAGH! It's a TRAP!"
Rating: 0:05 out of 0:05 seconds it takes Leia to tell Luke it's a trap.
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com