Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of
The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars….
In Minute 76:00, the Falcon detaches and, later, we get our first look at the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter in action.
First, Han's flying skills have impressed Leia so much, she's the most happiest she'll be all movie. Just to let him know he's on her good side, she gives him a kiss on the cheek. Empire stays mum on any salacious (crumb) details between the two, but they're the only human adults on this ship so we know what's going on.
Although, Han doesn't show any surprise from Leia's about-face, we know inside he's smiling-Batman right now.
And if the innuendos in Lucas and Kasdan's script aren't enough for you, here's some fanfiction to give you nightmares for the next week.
As the Falcon peels away from the floating trash heap (which is made up of spare parts from ships the star destroyer tractor-beamed), another hunk of junk lights up. It's the Slave I, a modified Firespray-31 patrol and attack class ship. Not to be confused with the Slave II, which Boba Fett had in the old Expanded Universe when we learned he survived the Sarlacc Pit like an evil soap opera doctor with an eyepatch.
Also, not to be confused with an iron.
Fett follows our heroes undetected as ominous music is overheard. But less ominous music was heard during Boba Fett's first appearance in Star Wars history.
When Boba initially showed up, we heard some weird Jefferson Starship... because it was during the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. The special's overly long and deathstick-induced hellscape had an animated sequence in which Fett is voiced by the guy who plays Claw in Inspector Gadget and rides a lizard.
But Lucasfilm learned their lesson and no character road a lizard ever again...
Best Performance by a Human: Han Solo becoming an ol' smoothie.
Best Performance by a Non-human: The floating junk.
Best Line: Leia's analysis of Solo - "you have your moments. Not many of them but you do have them."
Rating: Slave I.8 out of Slave II.
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com