Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of
The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars….
We enter Minute 75:00 inside the Millennium Falcon's cockpit and it seems like everyone took their Ambien except C-3P0. Han Solo just charged full speed at a star destroyer, he attached the ship's landing claw to the back of the battleship's bridge and, now that the Empire lost track of them, it's calmer in here than a Massage Envy pleasure barge.
Chewie goes to detach the landing claw and Threepio, who's blathering is nearly intolerable at this point, gets turned off. Maybe it's robot-abuse to shut down a droid without their approval, but with him de-powered Han and Leia can figure out their next moves in private. If it was this easy to get rid of a nuisance like Threepio, why didn't they just turn him off when he walked in on Han rubbing Leia's dirty hands?
Regardless, the two love-mynocks get some time to themselves and you can see Leia's warmed up to Han. It's been gradual over the past couple scenes but this is one of the rare times she's the one who moves closer to him (and not the other way around). With a dead droid sharing their cockpit, there's a potential for this scene to turn into Weekend at Bernie's in Space.
But there's no time for love on the run! Instead Han and Leia scour the ship's Google Maps for their next move and settle on Bespin as their next destination. There they'll meet Lando who lives on a planet made entirely of Colt 45. It's paradise!
And before they detach the landing claw and float away, Leia gets one last dig in at Han's expense. In fact, it's the runner up for this minute's best line...
Best Performance by a Human: Han Solo casually planning their next move while strapped to a windowless section of a battleship.
Best Performance by a Non-human: C-3P0 who, as played by Anthony Daniels, is forced to play dead.
Best Line: Han Solo describing his friend, Lando, to Princess Leia - "card player, gambler, scoundrel - you'd like him."
Rating: 2 out of 2 Weekends at Bernie's.
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com