Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of
The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars….
Why is everyone so appalled at the beginning of Empire's 67th Minute? Was a shocking secret revealed?
No! It's just that after a being on the run for a week, after countless repairs and upgrades, the Millennium Falcon's hyper drive STILL. DOESN'T. WORK. The only thing less surprising than this cash-for-clunker is Leia's stunted emotional state.
Whether there's a junky spaceship or mass genocide on her homeworld, it's all just a headshake to Princess Leia. But who has time to learn about feelings when you're getting your PhD at 19?
Following a reunion of Space-Jail's Greatest Cons, we're treated to a phenomenal series of shots. There's the same small model of the Falcon used during the space-slug-escape sequence. Then, the larger Falcon model makes an appearance as Han's ship dynamically dodges and weaves around the Empire's blasts.
Things get tense in the cockpit, but Han has a problem. He feels the need... the need for speed. In the absence of a working hyperdrive, he makes a u-turn, puts all power on the front shields, and jets toward the Star Destroyer head-on. Yoda should start calling out other people's reckless behavior because Han is making some crazy decisions. I'm beginning to wonder he cares about anything... or anybody.
Best Performance by a Human: Disappointed Leia.
Best Performance by a Non-human: The Millennium Falcon spitting engine wash.
Best Line: Han deflecting blame before turning on the front deflectors - "it's not my fault!"
Rating: 1290 out of YT-1300, the official class of the Millennium Falcon.
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com