Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of
The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars….
Why is Yoda so sad? Because Minute 66:00 reminds him of...
That's right, it's the Emperor's favorite minute of Star Wars an here's why. In these 60 seconds of Empire, we go from the teacher's pet (Luke) to the grungy scumbuckets sitting in the back of the class. Since the Empire couldn't track down the Millennium Falcon on their own, they've decided to hire the galaxy's version of Dog the Bounty Hunter.
After Luke's showdown with Phantom Vader in Dagobah's haunted cave, we get one parting glimpse of a disappointed Yoda before transitioning back to Darth Vader's Star Destroyer. Once on the bridge, we see the Empire is resorting to whatever means necessary to catch their prey.
Admiral Piett, offended that they're resorting to asking favors, sneaks one derogatory remark to a subordinate - "bounty hunters, we don't need their scum..." But he seems to be overheard by a fearsome Trandoshan Wookiee-hunter named Bossk. We never see Bossk in action but we know he's BA because he's wearing a cheap Corellian knockoff of a Rebel Alliance flightsuit, he snarls in the face of Imperial commanders, and you can't spell his name without "BOSS."
And let's not forget Dengar - who either has a toothache or is Jacob Marley...
And IG-88, the boss on level 4 of Shadows of the Empire with a head that looks like a can opener...
And Zuckuss, whose name is as suggestive as his body is lumpy and who, according to Google, is played by Conan O'Brien...
And 4-LOM, who has the body of C-3P0 and the brain of a killer IBM computer.
Remember these names kids, because you'll never see most of these characters onscreen again. This is their time. This is their moment. This is where Star Wars goes PUNK ROCK...
Yet, for all their tough-guy posturing, they don't stand a chance against that earthbound bounty hunter who's claimed our hearts...
Does Vader have these criminals on retainer? How did they all Avengers-assemble onto his ship when Han and Leia were hiding in that asteroid for a day at most?
The laws of space and time don't really count in Empire but we're not really keeping track either. What does matter is that the darkest lord in the galaxy and the scuzziest freelance murderers in the Outer Rim Territories have a shared history. After walking down this lineup of the Usual Suspects, Vader stops at Boba Fett saying that he wants the Rebel fugitives alive - "no disintegrations."
This exchange is more than just a throwaway. Thanks to the new Expanded Universe, Lucasfilm-affiliated authors have colored in this line with some new backstory.
As if on cue, this whole sequence (Empire's version of the Mos Eisley Cantina) ends with Admiral Piett entering to say that the Falcon's been found. That's how you jam-pack a minute.
Best Performance by a Human: Boba Fett, just standing there.
Best Performance by a Non-human: IG-88, just propped up there.
Best Line: Vader's pointed "no disintegrations."
Rating: 4 out of 4-LOM.
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com