Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of
The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars….
At the start of Minute 58:00, Luke argues he's ready to take the next step in his Jedi journey, saying "I'm not afraid." Yoda responds with a foreboding "you will be. You will be..." A modern-day marketing team would save this line for the trailer's money shot. And speaking of trailers, how about that golden egg Lucasfilm dropped last night? If you're like me, you watched trailer #2 for The Last Jedi too too many times. And then you watched it again. And again. And one more time for luck. Sure, Rian Johnson's warning was enough to give me pause - for 0.68 seconds. Then I let the waters of Ahch-To wash over me.
Wow. After the nostalgic nature of The Force Awakens and its derivative third act, we're finally getting an original Star Wars sequel. A second film in a trilogy that isn't afraid to be darker and more dramatic. With a story that only deepens the characters from the previous installment. Full of training montages and wise old teachers who question the trainees seeking them out. A film with an action packed battle pitting good-guy speeders against evil walkers. Ending in an explosive twist. I wish I was watching that movie.
Instead, Empire Strikes Back's 58th Minute jumps from Yoda's warning to the failed Imperial effort to smoke the Rebels out. Although we caught a glimpse of these vehicles during the introduction of the Imperial Fleet at the beginning of Empire, this is our first and only closeup shot of the TIE Bombers as they fly overhead.
Safe inside their cave, Leia stares out into the asteroid's interior darkness, wondering whether Han noticed the new "Kessel #5" scent she's wearing. Suddenly, she discovers out she's in an Alien movie and she screams in terror. The creature outside, a mynock, is less "face hugger" and more "space pigeon," but it's still shocking her. With a mouth that looks like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting and bat-like wings, she runs to Han to figure out what in the heck a living creature is doing in deep space.
It's the second time Leia screams in a Star Wars movie, and usually she's braver than this. If this were Aliens, James Cameron would have had her immediately blow up suction-cup-face and followed that scene with Leia posing nude like one of Han's Corellian girls. Sadly, that didn't happen.
But the scene is still a hint at what Empire could have been. Back in the film's development stage, Lucas and company considered experimenting with genres and inserting more horror elements into it. But this is ultimately a family film, even if Han and Chewie are too cool for this.
Best Performance by a Human: Leia modeling for the cover of the next Galaxy of Fear.
Best Performance by a Non-human: That mynock face.
Best Line: Yoda's "you will be. You will be."
Rating: 2:20 out of the 2:34 runtime of the trailer for The Last Jedi.
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com