Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars….
Minute 36:00 opens with several snappy exchanges between Ford and Fisher--
- "This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade!"
- "This baby's got a few surprises left in her, sweetheart."
- "Someday you're going to be wrong and I hope I'm going to see it."
- "Punch it."
Yes, as much as Han has the love/hate hots for Leia, no relationship will come between him and his ship. Which is... sad?
No time to dwell on Han's borderline romantic feelings for a piece of slapped-together machinery, the Snowtroopers outside are assembling a big old gun.
While some stories have Chekhov's Gun, Empire has an anti-Chekhov Gun. Anytime you see a giant laser cannon in this movie, there's a good chance it won't be used...
The Falcon flies away and Vader is left with another disappointment. Although it's less of a loss for him than that one time...
We can assume that once Vader finishes invading the Rebel Base, he goes home to his Star Destroyer and sulks in his giant metal egg. But since the Original Trilogy, Lucasfilm hasn't done the greatest job defining the scope of the Sith Lord's powers. If we were following the logic of the Prequels and even Rogue One, it seems like Vader would have the ability to freeze the Millennium Falcon midair and tear it apart using a Magneto-esque telekinesis. If he's angry enough he seems like he can do anything - he just has to sense-memory that time he woke up in the Emperor's medical bay and asked "where is Padme?" Then recollect the fact that in his anger he killed her, and boom, he can Hulk-smash the Rebel Alliance into oblivion.
Alas, that doesn't happen.
Instead, the Falcon takes off and Luke watches it fly out of Hoth's atmosphere.
Speaking of Luke, where is he, exactly? If the Imperials swarmed the base - and the docking bay isn't far away considering the Falcon's location in relation to Luke's - shouldn't the Imperial troops be attacking that hill where Luke is standing? It doesn't make much sense to me, but don't blame me, I'm an interpreter. I'm not supposed to know a power socket from a computer terminal.
Best Performance by a Human: Han Solo revving his ship to life.
Best Performance by a Non-human: That Rebel transport taking off against a white sky, surrounded by a barely noticeable outline that makes it a big light blur instead of a big dark blur.
Best Line: Leia's "this bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade!"
Rating: 7.5 out of 9 fried Snowtroopers.
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com