Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars….
As the Imperials blow their way through the Rebel's defenses and we mourn the loss of Luke's gunner, Dack, I have a confession to make. I've been misspelling "Dack" this whole time. It's actually supposed to be spelled "Dak" because of course it is. That's how names are spelled in space and by the Dallas Cowboys. But it's not my fault. It's not my FAULT! I was going by the cheat code "DEADDACK," which unlocked all the hidden bonus levels on Nintendo 64's Rogue Squadron. Can you forgive me?
Anyway, Dack/Dak is dead/dead and we're finally reunited with our old friend, Wedge Antilles. Played by Denis Lawson, the actor is Ewan McGregor's uncle. While Star Wars runs in his blood, he's previously had no desire to return to the universe following his appearance in 1983's Jedi. When The Force Awakens' buzz was at a fever pitch in those halcyon days of 2014 and 2015, Lawson revealed he turned a cameo down saying, "they asked me but it just would have bored me." I'd say, "be careful not to choke on your aspirations," but now he's making convention appearances after spending most of his life avoiding the SW hype -- maybe there's a part for him in The Last Jedi?
Whether he comes back or not isn't important - what matters is that Wedge finally does some good on Hoth. While flying over the first Death Star, all he did was worry about "that tower," and then he got his upper starboard engine blown up and had to pull out. Making up for lost time, he flies his gunner, Wes Janson, within harpoon firing range of an AT-AT leg.
But will Luke's crazy plan work? Will the AT-AT walk right through this tripwire? How could they possibly fall over? This is the Empire we're talking about. They should have thought through this type of scenario in their war games or one of Vader's many late night meditation marathons. If the Rebel's can booby trap the Empire's finest walkers this easily, the Alliance should have just Home-Aloned their entire base - with marbles, swinging paint cans, and cardboard cutouts of Wampas dancing in the living room.
Best Performance by a Human: Wedge, flying in for the kill and earning that paycheck.
Best Performance by a Non-human: That tripping AT-AT.
Best Line: Wedge's "Good shot, Janson!"
Rating: 85 out the 93 acting credits currently on Denis Lawson's IMDB page.
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com