Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of
The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars…
For all the controls in this control room, no buttons get pushed. Does anybody work the night shift? Where's the surprised ugnaught foreman saying, "hey, what are you doing here?!" before getting speared through the chest by a red lightsaber?
This cross-section page below even labels a character as a hard-pressed worker, but where the hell is he? Perhaps Vader sensed "this duel might get messy," and asked for the whole area to be cleared out. Still, this diorama of Cloud City's processing vane leaves more questions than answers, like: why is the carbon-freezing chamber inside a weather vane? Do they just freeze prisoners and then dump them out the moon door?
Cloud City is an embarrassment to the criminal justice system. And I don't know what's more shameful than that, Darth Vader's even more twisted idea of criminal punishment or Luke's hand-eye coordination. The Junior Jedi spent an ungodly amount of time in a swamp with a psychic guru and he can't hit box lobbed at him like a slow-pitch softball. This guy needs a father figure in his life.
Before this can become a teaching moment between father and son, Luke strikes out.
It's a shame we'll never know what Luke (or Luke's stunt double) was thinking before he was vacuumed out the window... or will we?
Maybe this reading of the 1980 Empire Strikes Back novelization will give more details...
In reality, how upset was Mark Hamill at getting bumped, bruised and flung across the Empire set? According to this article from Hollywood Reporter, not as angry as when he had to chop off that wampa arm.
Best Performance by a Human: Luke striking out, then getting ejected from the game.
Best Performance by a Non-human: Those boxes and pipes, for looking like they're being thrown with no strings attached.
Best Line: The line of cable and harness holding Luke for the flying-out-the-window effect.
Rating: 94 out of an average 100 mph wind gust needed to blow people away - according to Kevin Lu, researcher at Central Weather Bureau, storm chaser, Quora commenter.
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com