Written by Richie Pepio
During the 124 days before the release of The Last Jedi, I’m reviewing all 124 minutes of the theatrical version of
The Empire Strikes Back. Join me and together we will watch Star Wars. . . .
In Minute 6:00 we see the inner workings of Echo Base’s Command Center and we see the evidence HR will use for Han Solo and Princess Leia’s workplace harassment case.
Lawrence Kasdan crafts dialogue to serve as his own spin on a His Girl Friday type of romance. We’re not seeing the conventional sparks flying, we’re seeing the burnout. From the filmmakers’ perspective, it’s the easier story to tell because it’s more compelling. They’ve gone on dates, they’ve spent some alone time together but the honeymoon is over. Han’s got a heart of gold but at the moment he’s the ultimate deadbeat and Leia’s pretty icy about it. They each want the other to bend toward their way of thinking rather than compromise. In all fairness, all her family and childhood friends are dead, she’s been a tortured POW and she only has one set of clothes.
Han approaches General Rieekan and tenders his resignation – and really it’s just as much him giving 2 parsecs’ notice to the General as it is him looking to get a rise out of Leia. And Leia is so unwilling to show any weakness, it is pretty difficult to get any reaction from her – I mean, has she shed a tear in her life? All that said, she probably gets that personality trait from her mother…
But fear not Han Solo - it'll work out in the end. Statistically speaking, when the Skywalker women aren’t dating creeps and deadbeats, they get shotgun-wedded to Young Hitler....
Do you take this women as your lawfully wedded wife?
I do… murder younglings.
I mean, I do.
As for General Rieekan (who continues the trend set by "Wookiee" for having two "e's" placed pointlessly next to each other in his name), he says he’s sorry to hear Han’s leaving but he doesn't look too broken up about it. If I were in charge of that base, I wouldn’t either. The Princess' friends keep getting medals and promotions when they should be getting harassment lawsuits. We're at war here and these two fight and hate-make out around any corridor, hangar or ice stalagmite they can find. It’s embarrassing! If this were a screwball comedy, the climax of the movie would have Han getting batter-dipped in Carbon Freeze, Leia shouting her famous “I love you!” and the entire Control Room Staff appearing behind them to say, “We know!”
These glorified air traffic controllers are just at their stations doing their jobs and – well, I’m not really sure what their jobs are. If a button blinks, they push it, I guess? They write lines in dry-erase markers on the plexiglass? What exactly is the point of those standing glass schematics. The galaxy is three-dimensional but they’re moving little pointers along flat lines that don’t seem to mean anything. And if a protocol droid can do it, why does a human need to be stationed by one? Wait a second, they look like they’re talking on headsets as they move around the boards, maybe they’re futuristic operators. What I'm saying is, throwaway Galaga joke from The Avengers was pretty on-point
Side Note: General Rieekan is much less stately than General Dodonna from A New Hope.
So we can all agree, everyone's on edge and Rieekan doesn't run as tight a ship on Hoth as Dodonna did on Yavin. But as awkward as it must be for the characters, imagine how uncomfortable any crew members must have been on the real life set – at least, if they knew this.
Best Performance by a Human: Harrison Ford/Han Solo playing it cool but actually offended.
Best Performance by a Non-Human: That droid playing connect the dots.
Best Line: “Don’t get all mushy on me. So long, Princess.”
Rating: 1.7 weeks out of Han’s 2 weeks’ notice.
Stay tuned for Minute 7:00 to see how long Han and Leia can shout in front of strangers in a hallway!
This was originally posted on Mindctrlaltdel.tumblr.com